Welcome to A Gravel Road Journey!

NOT SO LONG AGO, Dad RE-named his art studio, "A Gravel Road Studio", and so this seemed an appropiate title for his blog.

Why 'Gravel Road'? As Dad explains, "Gravel roads take us off life's busy highway and force us to slow down. When we slow down we have time - time to notice the things around us; the things that matter the most; life and breath, the flowers and the trees. Gravel roads allow us to taste the dust of our travel and give us time to breathe."

Since his studio is a place of quiet reflection and contemplation, we wanted to create a space for family and friends to do the same as we journey together down this new and unknown path. We also wish to keep family and friends updated on his diagnoses and treatment, so please check in often for updates and new information.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

A Much Over-due Update

Feels like it's been forever since I updated on here, and I promise we're not trying to keep people in the dark - there just hasn't been much to tell lately, which has been a very good thing! Dad has been doing amazingly well the last month or so, and we are so very fortunate and thankful for this time that we are having with him. That being said, there are a few major things that have happened recently, so it is once again time to share the latest news.....

A few weeks ago, Dad developed a crackle in one of his lungs, which had the nurses a little bit concerned. If you remember from December, crackling in the lungs is a sign that pneumonia could be starting to settle in. Since Dad is up and more mobile now than he was in December we were hoping it wouldn't turn into anything serious, and thankfully it didn't.

Mom also had an overnight getaway with a girl friend last weekend. They travelled to Grand Forks for a night and did some shopping and a bit of sight-seeing. It was a nice relief for her, and I think both her and Dad were grateful for the opportunity for some much-needed alone time.

Something else that has been going on with the family in the last few weeks is that we have started meeting with one of the palliative social workers that is on staff at the hospital. We have now had two sessions, and it has been a great way to stay connected as a family and to really open up about how each of us is doing with the situation. It's been especially great for Jared and I, since we don't live at home and don't see all the day-to-day things that are going on. It's been a great insight for us into the struggle that this whole ordeal has been on Mom and Dad. To say that it's been a bit difficult the last few months is an understatement. Especially now that Dad is feeling a little better and is more alert, he wants to be more independent. But it's not recommended that he do all the things he'd like to do and he gets frustrated that he isn't able to. And since Mom is the one there with him all the time, it's hard for him to not take out his frustrations on her.

His memory is still not what it used to be as well, so he and Mom will have conversations about things and Dad won't remember them - and then gets mad at a later date because he feels like decisions have been made without his consent or input - when in reality, they have been and he just doesn't remember. I think they have decided to get a notebook to start writing down important conversations and decisions that have been made, so that Dad has a record of those conversations - a recommendation from a friend of ours whose family did the same thing with her Grandma when she had Alheimer's. In some ways, it is very much like Dad has a case of that! It's become apparent from these counselling sessions how much of a strain this has placed on Mom and Dad's relationship, but hopefully having a safe space to talk about their struggles each week will help them to overcome a lot of the stress that it has placed on their relationship. One thing is very clear, though, and that is how great of a job Mom is doing taking care of Dad. Between administering his medication, knowing when he needs which ones and how much of each to give, making sure that Dad is getting up and moving each day, balancing all the paperwork that is involved with Dad's care, planning all of the 'end of life' things that need to be in place for someone who is in palliative care - and still managing to get Brendan off to school each day, take care of bills that need to be paid, etc. etc. I don't know how she manages it all! Let's just say that her overnight vacation was very well deserved!

In other family news, Jesse left for BC a couple weeks ago to stay with Dad's brother John and his wife, Wendy for a few months. He's interested in starting his own landscaping business in the future, and Uncle John owns his own nursery, so Jesse is working for Uncle John while he's out there, getting more experience in the field. From what we've heard, he is enjoying his time out there so far.

And, last but not least, is the latest in Dad's condition. He's been feeling a bit tired this past week and he had a pretty bad fall last Thursday. The nurses were not happy with him, and stressed the importance of using his walker or wheelchair at all times (which he didn't do, and that's why he fell). Because of the steroids that he's on, his bones are very weak and can break quite easily, but thankfully, he did not injure himself seriously this time. We hope there won't be a next time and that he actually listens to the nurses' advice. I think so far he's been doing pretty good about using the walker and he is now wearing his transfer belt at all times as well. He has still been able to get out and about to a few outings, though, depsite not feeling quite as well this past week. Brendan had a volleyball tournament on Saturday and Dad made it out to one of his games. And last night, Jared and I had the privilege of going along with Mom and Dad to the Steve Bell concert. It was very good!

I think that's it for now. As always, we continue to ask for your prayers for Dad and the rest of the family. Thank you all for continuing to follow along, even though there hasn't been a lot to update on recently - just remember that no news is good news, so if you don't hear from me/us for a while, it means things are going well!

3 comments:

Diane said...

Dana,

Thanks for updating the blog. I will continue to pray for all of you. I pray that God would continue to give your mom the strength to deal with all the daily tasks. It is great that the whole family has a place that they can go and express how they feel about everything. That your mom was able to get away for an overnight, what a blessing that must have been. God is an awesome God and everyday that you have with your dad is special. That he has been feeling better is wonderful as well. I pray that the crackle in his lungs would disappear.
May God continue to hold all of you in the palm of his hand. He is faithful and gracious. His mercies are new everyday. How wonderful that you were able to attend the concert last night with your mom and dad and yes it was an awesome concert.
Blessings
Diane

Doug Koop said...

Thank you for telling us about the ups and downs of Gerald's condition. I'm kind of on the periphery of his circles, but like many others I care a great deal about his personal well-being and the ongoing ministry of the process of his disease. My prayers are with you all.

Linda said...

Thank you for the update. We are out of the country now and it is good to know how things are going. Please give our love to Gerald and Arlis.

Linda and Wes