We knew it wouldn't be easy, but we went to church as a family this past Sunday morning. I was quite sure that I would be overcome by emotion and wouldn't be able to sing - turns out I was wrong...
On Wednesday night, Celebr8 had our first scheduled rehearsal since last spring. Singing songs like "Fly Away" and "When the Kingdom Comes" brought joy and strength to all of us in the circle. As much as everything has changed, it seems equally significant to experience, and celebrate, moments of normalcy.
Part of that normalcy is adjusting to new priorities and family activities; daily treatments at Cancer Care, the daily regimen of medication, intentional family times to ask every family member, "So, how are you doing?" It can be a challenge and often times difficult to determine the correct answer to that question.
The image I've used is that life seems as if it's being lived out in a little rubber dingy in a very large ocean. It's often difficult to determine if the dingy is riding the crest of the wave or if it is plummeting into the trough of the next wave.
Oddly enough, I believe that mostly I am riding on the crest of a wave and then, occasionally I realize that I have slipped into a Jonah-like valley of darkness and despair.
The words of Isaiah 41:10 continue to challenge me:
"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
We have been overwhelmed by the many ways we have experienced love and suport from family and friends: hugs, cards, food, rides, telephone chats, visits, gift cards, etc.
Finally, and (I knew it was coming), I had to surrender my driver's license yesterday due to the full body seizures I experienced on September 12th. Being a passenger for the next year (especially during winter) may be a bit of a challenge for both Arlis and myself...apparenly I need to learn to bit my tongue before speaking!
Shalom and "sterkte" to all,
Gerald
13 comments:
Thank you again Dana for giving those of us who are far away, a window into this journey so that we can walk alongside you all in love and prayer.
Gerald it is wonderful to read your message. It brings strength and hope! We are so grateful that we all have God to guide us through the oceans of our lives, as we float about in the winds of challenge and change. Just think...God created the wind!!
Persevere Gerald, you are loved and many are praying!!
Love Dorothy & David
Thank you, once again, Dana, for all your work. It is amazing that I can sit way out here in the jungle and be able to share with Gerald and Arlis. Give them our love. We are praying for all of you. Our strength is only through Him.
We have the little church out here in Bolivia praying also.
Marg
Thanks Dana for posting this message from Gerald. It was good to see you in church this past Sunday Gerald. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I continue to pray for you and your family. God is walking right beside you, every step of the way.
May you and your family continue to draw on his strength during this journey.
Diane
I'm struck by how music seems to help make sense of things when life is bringing such challenges. There's this great old hymn that keeps coming back to the line "how can we keep from singing?", and I kept hearing hints of it in your blog entry. Keep singing, my friend.
TO GERALD FOLKERTS AND FAMILY
Wow, can I share a little story. I met your Dad at a Willowcreek Conference in 2001. The CRC Home Missions Board had a meeting first there – and we were all willing to see and learn what God would do. I was there for Bethany CRC in Fenwick with 2 others and your Dad from Covenant Church in Winnipeg. When I went I looked across the room and I met someone who so resembled our dear friend, John Folkerts that I went up to him and said – by any chance do you have a brother in B.C. Well, of course – you looked so much the same. I kept a wonderful prayer journal for awhile and I looked it up – my pastor made me do a write up about the experience and I mentioned it in there.
I hope your church has grown as much as ours in the last 7 years. Previously we would have had to get past 3 committee meetings, council and just maybe we could go up and speak. Today we called the pastor, asked the praise team to say something for us and play this CD I liked called
What a Good God
What a good God You've been to me
Your goodness and Your grace everyday I've seen
What else can I do but give my deepest thanks to You
What a good God You've been to me
What a faithful God You've been to me
You've provided far beyond everything I'd ever need
What else can I do but give my deepest heartfelt thanks to You
What a faithful God You've been to me
What a loving God You've been to me
You shed Your blood on the cross
So that I can stand here and be free
So what else can I do
But give my deepest thanks to You
What a loving God You've been
What a faithful God You've been
What a good God You've been to me
The only problem was the Praise Team wanted John and I go up to talk. FEAR, DREAD, I CAN’T DO THAT – IT’S MY FIRST SUNDAY BACK, I PANICKED – JOHN GENTLY TOLD ME JUST COME WITH ME I’LL TALK. We walked up front and John asked for a moment to get it together. We were able to share that many of us in this church are experiencing trials, not just us. Yet we have the comfort that we can rely on God to walk with us, and carry us through these challenging times no matter what they are. I can’t believe I’m up there! This is not me. But you know what, cancer has made me bolder for Jesus.
Now I find out that the exact same week – your Dad was diagnosed with a brain tumour and I was too. Sept. 4th and me the 7th. I had surgery the 11th and he the 12th. I had colon cancer 3 years ago and have been given clean bills of health right up to 2 weeks ago. Within 3 days I experienced some of the same things as your Dad. Low energy on the left side of my body, first my arm, then my leg, and then my left foot dragging. We pushed things (we have a cancer specialist doctor in the family from Syracuse, New York) because of my history of cancer and from Sunday to Thursday I had a CT scan, doctors appt., MRI, brain surgery to remove a cancerous spot in my brain. Thanks to fast action at the Welland Hospital to have a C-scan, we found out in the emergency room Sept. 7th. See my blog at the bottom so I can keep this shorter.
God is amazing through both our journeys – I just finally had time to read your blog with tears this morning and thought we both needed to tell our congregations how important that Willowcreek conference was – our church has grown in wonderful ways. Hopefully yours has too. It sounds like a caring support for you too.
We have been corresponding with John & Wendy (our dear friends and your brother).
One step at a time! I feel the prayers of everyone. I can tell that we both feel God’s presence in this all and we both have wonderful communities around us supporting us. And I have a feeling we both were inspired to set up a blog because of John & Wendy’s son’s friend who set up the blog for their son.
Sorry I tried to limit my words? My husband might tell you that has been hard for me to do lately. I only need 4 hours of sleep at night! So my day is ½ done when he wakes up!!
www.jocelynlangendoen.blogspot.com
John & Jocelyn Langendoen
Fenwick, Ontario
Gerald Folkerts
Winnipeg
www.gravelroadjourney.blogspot.com/
I don't know what to say other than that you, Gerald, and your family are in the thoughts and prayers of people you may barely remember! Gerald, you were my homeroom teacher in your 1st year of teaching (gr.7). You taught me Art and Bible (and maybe other things I can't remember ) from gr.7 to gr.9.
May God's strength carry you all through.
Peace and blessings,
Joyce Abma
we continue to pray for all you guys!
Dear Gerald,
Everyday when we walk to our classes through the Atrium at King's these days, we are gifted by your creative vision of what is and what should be, from the Invisible Dignity show. And every day, when we see your creative hand and your colourful shoes(!), we think of the journey you and your family and community walk together.
Please know that you touch our lives through your gift of art every day in Edmonton, and please know, too, that we walk beside you in the shoes you have sent us, from a distance.
Peter and Cheryl Mahaffy
Gerald
We are visiting Borden and Gwen in Ottawa and keeping up with your journey via your blog. I think of you often and more so as I went through some of the things that you are going through now. Our little granddaughters pray for you every night and our church - Whiteshell Baptist - prays for you every Sunday. How important family and friends are and most importantly - our God - when we must go through a journey like this.
Louise
Well Iam back again to tell that my prays are for you and your family. When were in Chilliwack a couple of years ago you said you were going to paint a portrait of the brother you lost, I hope that are still at it or finished them,
God will always be beside you at your back and any other place you need to be at this moment.
Joanne {deBoer} Carlson.
Gerald and Arlis,
It is embarrassing to acknowledge that I did not know about your blog until this past weekend when I went back to Vancouver. Attribute it to my technological backwardness in that I do not instinctively move to digital communication possibilities under circumstances like this. But now that I do know I will keep looking for updates. What you are facing is momentous, even overwhelming. There is no getting away from that, only the deep consolation offered by, among others, Psalm 27:1, a personal favorite of mine because the imagery of light is so important for us who live in a world of darkness that threatens to unnerve us. As you wrestle with darkness may the light of GOd's face make you smile as he smiles on you. RUth and I pray for you all---you are not alone.
all our love,
John and Ruth Bolt
Hi Gerald. Hi Folkerts family.
Richard Zekveld here, now in Chicagoland. Just want you to know that we think about you and pray for you. May you know the peace that passes all understanding - His peace - as you walk this gravel road journey.
I've just discovered this blog. Thank you so much for putting together this wonderful medium for so many of us to tune into!
We'll pray specifically about the upcoming results of your MRI and for these days of waiting.
Richard Zekveld.
Gerald, we were both thinking of you this morning in church. The children's message was about Jonah, and his experience being inside the big fish. We both looked at each other and said, "I was just thinking of Gerald's awesome painting of this." We have heard of your challenges from Hilda and wanted you to know that you are all in our prayers.
Jerry & Annette Van Ee
now in Edmonton, AB
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