A Gravel Road Journey...

A Few More Articles

2009-06-03T13:22:00.002-05:00

Hi Everyone,

Thank you all so much for your wonderful comments! It is a great comfort to know that so many people are surrounding us in prayer at this time. Just wanted to share with you a few more links for articles that have been written about Dad in the last few days. The first was written by Morley Walker, who wrote a few articles over the past few months for the Winnipeg Free Press. The second was written by Jamie Howison, priest at St. Benedict's table, and one of the people officiating at the memorial service on Saturday.

http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/Visual-artist--46577382.html

http://stbenedictstable.ca/ - scroll about half way down the page, and the article is entitled, "Praying the Offices with a Dying Friend"

Mom also sent me one of the pictures that will be in the paper today with the obituary, so I updated that in the previous post.

The Obituary

2009-06-01T13:54:00.006-05:00

For those who aren't in Winnipeg and won't see this in the paper, we wanted to share this with you here. It will be run in the Winnipeg Free Press on Wednesday, June 3rd. The picture in the paper will be a different one, but I only have the Word document copy, so it won't let me post that here (it's the wrong format).

It is with great sadness that the family announces the passing of Gerald Folkerts at Riverview Health Center on May 30th, 2009, at the age of 51.

Left to mourn his passing are his wife, Arlis, and their children, Jared (Dana, grandchildren, Xavier and Shaela), Janis, Jesse, and Brendan. Also left to remember him are his mother, Anna Folkerts, and parents-in-law, Arend and Rosella Wassink. He will be missed by family members Harry (MaryAnne), John (Wendy), Ken (Alice), Rudy (Shirley), Liz (Melvin), Hans, Janice (Roger), Hilaine (Roger), Cornie (Deb), Gloria (Ken), as well as many nieces, nephews, and friends.

Gerald was predeceased by his father, Andy Folkerts, nephew, David Folkerts, and infant nephews, Travis VanWhye, Matthew Alons, and Seth Folkerts.

Gerald was a loving husband, and a wonderful father and grandfather. His great love besides his family was his art. Gerald was an artist who worked at home out of his third-floor "gravel road" studio. He was devoted to painting art that invited viewers to reflect upon, and sometimes wrestle with, allusive, suggestion-rich and deeply relevant images. Gerald was dedicated to living out his Christian beliefs and loved the less fortunate. He will be deeply missed by his family and friends. There are too many experiences that we still crave, but we're blessed by the memories we have.

Thank you to the staff at Riverview, CancerCare, and the Palliative Community Team. In lieu of flowers, a trust fund has been set up for Gerald's children. Donations may be dropped off at Crosstown Civic Credit Union (1200 Henderson Highway, Winnipeg) or Covenant Christian Reformed Church (653 Knowles Ave., Winnipeg). Donations may be mailed to: P.O. Box #28080, 1795 Henderson Hwy, Winnipeg, MB, R2G 4E9.

A memorial service will be held at Covenant Christian Reformed Church, 653 Knowles Ave., on June 6th, 2009 at 11:00 a.m.

One Final Day

2009-05-30T23:18:00.005-05:00

Family and Friends,

It is with a heavy heart that I write to you this evening. Dad developed pneumonia starting Friday afternoon, and suffered a seizure this morning. His lungs started filling up with fluid this afternoon, so Mom called and we all came to the hospital - got there around 4:45 pm. By that point, Dad was pretty much in a constant state of seizuring. About 5:30 pm, the nurses gave him some medication to help relax him, along with some more morphine to help with any pain and make him more comfortable. He was, and at 6:50 pm, surrounded by family, Dad very peacefully took his last breaths of life. We were able to stay with him in the room for a while afterwards, to say our final goodbyes and decide when the funeral will be held.

Because we have so many family members who live out of town, we have decided to leave it until next Saturday. It will be at 11 am on June 6th at Covenant Christian Reformed Church. We welcome all of you to attend and share with us in a celebration of Dad's life.

Another Day

2009-05-27T21:39:00.000-05:00

Went to visit Dad again this evening after a day of our 'normal' routines. It was nice to have a bit of a break from sitting around the hospital all day, but at the same time, we feel badly for not being able to be there the entire time. Mom was at the hospital for most of the day, though, and when she couldn't be there, a few friends stopped by to sit with Dad.

A few updates as far as medications go. They have decided to stop the antibiotics since they know now that it's not a chest infection. Not much point in keeping Dad on them when they aren't doing anything. They have also started him on a saline solution through the sub-cue lines rather than through IV. With an IV there is concern that the fluid will just go to Dad's lungs. But with the sub-cue lines, he stays hydrated without the concern of the excess fluids. He was sleeping pretty deeply the whole time we were there this evening, but Mom said he was awake/aware earlier in the day. His speech is becoming quite slurred, though, and very hard to understand. It's another one of the signs that the cancer is continuing to take over.

So, as always, we ask for your continued thoughts and prayers. It means so much to read the comments left and know that we are not journeying alone.

The Journey Continues

2009-05-26T17:06:00.002-05:00

Just got home from another long day at Riverview. Dad was in a lot of pain this morning and was asking for all of the family to come to the hospital. After sitting there for the majority of the day, everyone but Mom went home for a bit of rest and so the kids (Xavier and Shaela) could nap. We're planning on going back this evening, and we're not quite sure what will happen, but I think Dad was feeling this morning like the end was definitely near. The nurses said sometimes patient's know, but sometimes they are wrong and it still takes a few days or weeks before they pass away. It's the not knowing exactly when that makes it so hard. You want to stay there and be with Dad when it happens, but at the same time, you need to break. Especially for Xavier and Shaela - it's hard on them being couped up at the hospital all day.

Anyway...just wanted to let everyone know what was going on, and to ask for more prayers. Please pray for peace and strength for the family, and for peace about everything for Dad. I'll keep everyone updated if there are any more changes in his condition.

Roller Coaster Ride

2009-05-24T22:32:00.002-05:00

Well, the birthday pictures should be working now - the hospital computer wouldn't let me download them from my email to post on here....

Anyway....just wanted to post an update to let everyone know how the weekend has been unfolding. Jared and I, along with the rest of the family, were at the hospital till about 9:30 last night. A few friends dropped in to say hi, but for the most part, the day was spent talking in Dad's room, watching TV in the family room down the hall and taking Xavier and Shaela outside to the little park that is at Riverview. Dad slept the whole time, and while it was a very deep sleep, his breathing was very laboured, and he was very clammy most of the day. The nurses started him on a low dose of morphine, since he is now feeling some pain in his chest, and they are continuing the antibiotics in case of any infections (like pneumonia).

Today we were all back at the hospital again and Dad was doing much better today than he was yesterday. He was awake a little bit this morning and we were actually able to talk to him for a short while. He slept for the majority of the day, but he would occasionally open an eye for a moment, and if we talked to him, he would respond quietly under his breath with a groan or a small smile. So that was encouraging to see.

He is, however, still in a state of decline. He hasn't eaten at all for the last two days, and there are a few other signs that his body is starting to shut down. But, that doesn't necessarily mean this is the end. I think the entire family is no longer feeling like we're journeying down a gravel road - we've now boarded a roller coaster and are on a constant wave of ups and downs. It was like this way back in December when they told us they didn't think Dad would make it until Christmas. We all thought for sure the doctors and nurses were right, because he kept getting worse and worse. And now, here it is, almost 6 months later, and Dad is still with us! We're so grateful for the extra time with him, but it's emotionally exhausting. It becomes really hard to balance living the rest of our lives and wanting to spend every last minute we have with Dad. I think for the most part, we are all finding that balance and handling things as best as we can. But we continually need to be lifted up in prayer. This is definitely not an easy journey, and we couldn't survive it without the support of friends and family. Thank you to all of you who have followed along with us through this blog, praying for us, bringing meals. It's been such a huge blessing, and we hope that you will continue to be there with us no matter what the future holds.

Please Pray!

2009-05-23T16:22:00.002-05:00

Hello again,

As you can assume from the title, I do not have good news to share this afternoon. Dad took a turn for the worst this morning and he is currently surrounded by friends and family in his room at Riverview. It started last night while Mom and Janis were here visiting. Dad's breathing was really rapid and not like it normally is. By this morning, the doctors and nurses thought maybe he was developing a chest infection. However, after more blood tests and a thorough check by the doctor, it was determined that Dad has a blood clot, most likely in his lungs. This is a very serious condition, for which there really is no treatment. He's been put on blood thinners so that things can still flow around the clot, but aside from that, there isn't much they can do. Thankfully, Dad doesn't seem to be in any pain right now and seems to be sleeping pretty comfortably.

However, the family is in definite need of prayer right now. As we've said many times, we have no idea how much longer we have with Dad, and that's still the case today. Only God knows the answer and the only thing we can do is surround ourselves with family and friends and rest in the assurance that God loves us and has a plan for all of us in this. That can be a lot easier said than done, though. Please pray for peace, comfort, and strength for all of us right now. We'll keep you updated with any changes as often as we can......

Birthday Celebrations

2009-05-23T16:15:00.005-05:00

Well, I've been meaning to post all week about Dad's birthday celebration, and unfortunately, time always seems to slip by me faster than I want it to.....however, it is better late than never, right???

On Wednesday, May 13th, Jared, myself, the kids, Mom, and Janis all gathered at Riverview for Dad's 51st birthday celebration. We had Chinese food ordered in and I made a chocolate cake for Dad. We had a few friends stop in and join us for dessert a little later in the evening, and what a great night it was. Mom got a great card for Dad, and while he didn't really appreciate the humor in the card at the time, it was so great to be able to laugh and joke with family, despite the rough year we've had.

Dad isn't exactly looking his best these days, but we still love him just the same, and what a blessing it was to enjoy one more birthday celebration with him. God has been very gracious in giving us a few more months with him, and so despite the hospital setting, it was a very joyous occasion. Here are the cream of the crop of pictures we took that evening. Hope you'll enjoy them! (if they aren't working, I'll try again at home later today...we're at the hospital right now!)

Discouraging News

2009-05-07T23:29:00.002-05:00

We knew this day would come, and we just didn't want it to happen. But the time has finally arrived when the doctors can no longer increase Dad's steroids anymore. Mom spoke with the social worker this morning and they basically told her that once the effects of the dose he's on now start to wear off, they will slowly start decreasing the amount he is given. I know I haven't mentioned on here the exact dosage that Dad has been receiving. But right now he is on 45 mg two times a day. When it was in pill form, that translated into 14 pills at a time! They have since put the sub-cue lines back in, so it's in liquid form and they don't need to try to wake him up to give him his meds anymore.

Anyway, for those of you that are familiar with steroid use and cancer - the typical dose that a person receives is 2-5 mg twice a day. So, when I have mentioned that Dad is on a very high dose - now you know HOW high! He was at 30 for quite a while, but for the last two weeks, he's been on the 45 mg. The doctors and nurses had a planning meeting this morning, and none of them have ever seen or known of any patient on such a high dosage. Which is why they have decided they can't go any higher. They aren't sure of what kind of side effects it might create, or what other problems that it might add to Dad's condition if they increase the levels anymore. So, what we can expect to happen is that as they decrease the dex., the side effects of the cancer will start becoming more apparent.

Needless to say, we are hoping that Dad will be able to remain in Riverview throughout the course of these next few weeks/months. There hasn't been any talk of him being moved elsewhere in the last week or two, so we are hoping that is good news and it means he will be able to stay there. We (and the doctors and nurses) have no idea how much longer Dad has, but they have made it sound like it might be quick once the dexamethasone starts being decreased. So, what is quick? Only God knows the answer to that one. It could be a week, it could be four. It could be three months. We don't know. But we do know that it is going to be increasingly hard on our family from here on out. We are still hoping and praying for a miracle. God is a very powerful God and we know that He can still give us one. But if not, please pray for strength for the family. For peace about the situation. For comfort. We appreciate your prayers more than words can express!

On behalf of all of us,
Dana

New Developments

2009-05-03T13:56:00.002-05:00

I am always surprised to come back on here and see that it's been a few weeks since I updated! I guess when life is so busy, it's hard to keep track of the time!

Anyway...there have been a few new developments since I last posted on here. Dad had a fall about a week ago in the washroom at Riverview. He wasn't able to get his hands out in time and smoked his right eye on the floor, causing it to split open. He didn't need stitches at all, just the little bandaid things that hold the skin back together. It turned a lovely shade of purple and as pleasant as it looked, Dad asked us not to post pictures on here of it, so unfortunately, you'll have to use your imaginations! It's looking much better this weekend, though.

Dad was also having some trouble going to the washroom for a few days so earlier this week he got a catheter put in. He says it is mildly uncomfortable, but otherwise doesn't seem to notice it. He has still been sleeping quite a bit, but the doctor increased his steroids again and he has been a little more aware of what's going on around him for the last few days, which we are always thankful for.

We're not quite sure what the catheter means as far as Dad possibly coming home. There hasn't been any talk of that possibility lately, and in all honesty, we would prefer that he be able to stay at Riverview. It's a lot less stressful for Mom, and we know that he is getting great care where he is. It's a beautiful facility as well, and Dad seems to enjoy it there. So we'll see what happens...

On a slightly unrelated note, I wanted to share this news with everyone on here, since I know a lot of people that read this are not on Facebook....I am hosting a "Help Whip Cancer" Fundraiser on May 6th at our home (635 Maryland Street, Wpg.) from 7-10 pm. It's through Pampered Chef, so if you purchase any of our products, then a portion of the proceeds will go the the Canadian Cancer Society. However, I am also doing a silent auction on the night of, and 100% of the proceeds from the auction will go the CCS. You can also make a donation directly to the organization (I'll be collecting the donations on their behalf and sending them all in at once). If anyone is interested in purchasing silent auction tickets or placing an order, but can't make it on Wednesday, please email or call me. I'd love to give you more information!

Thanks everyone! Hope you have a great weekend!
Dana
(204) 774-3522
jaredana15@yahoo.ca
www.pamperedchef.biz/danafolkerts

Praise and Possibilities

2009-04-21T15:43:00.002-05:00

Once again I can't believe it's been a few weeks since I updated on here. Time seems to fly by so quickly these days! I do have good news to report though, and that is that Dad's blood sugar levels have finally been regulated! The nurses are down to checking his sugar levels twice a day, instead of four times, and he usually doesn't need any insulin anymore. Just the diabetic pills.

Which leads me to the 'possibilities' part of the title.....Dad has been declining the past few weeks that he's been at Riverview. He's been sleeping more and is showing more and more confusion. However, Mom met with the doctor and social worker this morning to talk about possible placements for Dad. Even with the decline, he is not a point where he needs to see a doctor everyday (especially since they have been able to regulate his blood sugars), so they are hesitant to keep him at Riverview. They obviously want those beds for those that need them most, which is understandable. But bringing Dad home would mean a lot of extra work and added stress for Mom. So, they talked it over today and are discussing several different options. We're not sure what this means yet, and likely won't know for a few days. Mom said that Dad will be in Riverview at least another week, and her prayer is that he can end up staying there, instead of being moved elsewhere.

It pretty much goes without saying that Mom and the family need your prayer support in this matter. We're not quite sure what will happen in the next few weeks, and we are very thankful that Dad is feeling better in relation to his blood sugar. However, we have a few big decisions ahead of us, so please pray that we would make the right one and that wherever Dad ends up, that he will still be receiving the best care that is possible for him.

Thank you all so much! Take care,
Dana

A Couple More Weeks

2009-04-08T08:50:00.003-05:00

Well, Dad was not able to come home at all yesterday like the doctor had originally hoped. We were at Mom and Dad's for supper last night and Mom filled us in on the latest news. Dad's blood sugar levels have been going down, but they are still not quite regulated enough for him to not need the insulin shots. Until they get him down to just the diabetic pills, he has to stay at Riverview, so it will most likely be at least a week, probably closer to two before he can be released.

Thankfully his cold is gone, but the last few days he has been sleeping again a bit more. They are doing bloodwork again (I think today) to try and determine the cause, and the results of that might mean changing some of the doses of his medications again. We'll know more about that in a few days.

In the meantime, please continue to keep the family in your prayers. We appreciate it so very much!

A Possible Homecoming

2009-04-02T16:12:00.002-05:00

Talked to Mom on the phone this afternoon and she had good news for me to update! The antibiotics are working and Dad's cold seems to be going away, so the doctor was very hopeful that Dad might be able to come home soon. There is a bit of glucose in the antibiotics, so they didn't think he would be home until at least Monday. Even with the added meds, his blood sugar levels have been below 20 for the past three days.

So, once the antibiotics are finished, which will be on Monday, as long as Dad's blood sugar stays below 20, the doctor said that Dad might be able to come home on Tuesday. If his levels do stay down that low, then he won't be required to take insulin shots at all. He'll still be on diabetic pills, and I'm sure Mom will still have to closely monitor his blood sugar levels, but at least he won't need to get shots every day.

So please keep on praying! Hopefully I'll be able to update in a few days with news that Dad has returned home!

Still Not Regulated...

2009-03-31T15:40:00.002-05:00

Well, unfortunately, the two to three days that Dad was supposed to be in the hospital for has now turned into six. The doctors and nurses are having some trouble regulating his blood sugar and still don't have it at a low enough level to let him come home. It's definitely lower than when he was admitted last Wednesday night, but still not at an acceptable level for Mom to manage it at home. So far, there's no word from the doctor on how long it might be before they do get it regulated.

Dad has also developed a cold in the last couple days and was started on some antibiotics for it yesterday. We've all been taking turns visiting with him and he seems pretty comfortable so far. Mom got a phone put into his room yesterday, so we can now call in, although Dad isn't able to call out at all - probably a good thing, or he'd be racking up a pretty large phone bill, I'm sure! Jared stopped in this morning for a few minutes before heading to his practicum and as he was leaving, the physical therapist was coming in to get Dad up and walking around for a while.

Hopefully we will have more answers soon as to when Dad might be coming home. And hopefully the antibiotics kick this cold of his quickly so that it doesn't turn into anything more serious....

Until next time,
Dana

Off to the Hospital...

2009-03-25T23:41:00.002-05:00

Well, Dad is off to the hospital tonight for a few days. They got the results of his bloodwork back earlier today and his blood sugar levels were really elevated. The normal range is around 5, and his level from yesterday when they did the blood work was 25. They expect that his levels would be slightly higher because of the dexamethazone that he is on, but tonight when the nurse came to double-check the level, it was so high that it wasn't registering on the monitor. They gave him some insulin and were able to get it down to around 30, but after speaking with the doctor on call, they were told that he needs to come in to the hospital for a few days so that they can flush his system and get the levels regulated. Mom mentioned that he'll need at least 10 litres of fluid to completely flush everything out.

Thankfully, he will not have to go through emergency at all. Mom got a call around 9 pm and a bed had opened up at Riverview, which is a palliative care facility, so once they got it cleaned up and ready to go, they were to call the non-emergency ambulance and they will come to the house and pick Dad up. We just spoke to Mom a few minutes ago (about 11:30 pm) and the ambulance still wasn't there yet. But, if any of you have been following the weather here in Winnipeg, you'll know that we've had snow all day here! Yup, that's right - it looks like December out there! Gotta love "Winter-peg" right?!?! Needless to say, the roads are icy and it's miserable outside, so it may be a while before the ambulance gets there. Hopefully it won't take too long, but you never know with the weather we've been having!

So the plan right now is for Dad to stay in for a few days, with the expectation that he'll be home once his blood sugar is regulated. Once his levels even out, then he should have a bit more energy again and won't be sleeping so much. He's also been really thirsty the last few days, and Mom said he was drinking about 4 litres of milk a day. He is now not allowed to have any dairy or fruit - those are the two main triggers for upping the blood sugar. Hopefully once his levels even out, he'll be able to have at least small amounts of both - I guess we'll find out in a few days!

Needless to say, Dad needs some definite prayer right now! He will be on diabetic pills and insulin the next few days, and will most likely continue to need insulin when he gets home to ensure that his blood sugar levels continue to stay at a more normal level. I'll continue to update as we get news from the doctors....

A Series of Ups and Downs

2009-03-24T21:41:00.003-05:00

Well, the time has come when I no longer have only good news to report. Dad, sadly, has not been doing very well the last week or so. The nurses had increased some of his medication last week, and it seemed to help for a few days, but this last week there hasn't been much improvement at all. He's been very shaky (basically having minor seizures or tremors), is sleeping a lot more, and his balance and co-ordination are quickly dwindling. He's not at the point yet where he can't get up out of bed, although he did have a minor fall earlier today and Mom wasn't able to help him up on her own. It's at the point now where she has been contemplating getting 24/7 care from the palliative team, and finally put a call in this evening to get that put into place. I'm not sure how soon that will happen, but I'm assuming it will be this week sometime. Right now they are still coming from 8 am until 4:30 pm and then again from 11 pm until 7 am. But the time has come when Mom just can't do it on her own anymore; she needs the help round the clock.

Fortunately, there are still a few options with his medication. He had blood work done today, and depending on the results of that, the doctors may change some of his medications, or switch up the doses again. Time will only tell if it will be effective or not.

As for how Dad is taking the recent struggle, I think so far, he is still in denial. He talks of getting better and playing soccer again. And he gets very angry when someone suggests that he isn't doing well. He's been increasingly difficult to get along with, which the nurses had said would happen in December, and thankfully, we didn't experience until now. It's the hardest on Mom, since he takes most of his frustrations out on her. I'm sure sometimes it's hard to remember that it's the tumor talking, and not Dad.

So, please continue to pray for us. For strength, for courage, for patience. I'd like to thank each and every one of you that has been following this blog - your prayers and support mean so much to us! Thank you for allowing us to share our burdens with you, and for following along in this journey with us.

A Much Over-due Update

2009-03-05T09:59:00.004-06:00

Feels like it's been forever since I updated on here, and I promise we're not trying to keep people in the dark - there just hasn't been much to tell lately, which has been a very good thing! Dad has been doing amazingly well the last month or so, and we are so very fortunate and thankful for this time that we are having with him. That being said, there are a few major things that have happened recently, so it is once again time to share the latest news.....

A few weeks ago, Dad developed a crackle in one of his lungs, which had the nurses a little bit concerned. If you remember from December, crackling in the lungs is a sign that pneumonia could be starting to settle in. Since Dad is up and more mobile now than he was in December we were hoping it wouldn't turn into anything serious, and thankfully it didn't.

Mom also had an overnight getaway with a girl friend last weekend. They travelled to Grand Forks for a night and did some shopping and a bit of sight-seeing. It was a nice relief for her, and I think both her and Dad were grateful for the opportunity for some much-needed alone time.

Something else that has been going on with the family in the last few weeks is that we have started meeting with one of the palliative social workers that is on staff at the hospital. We have now had two sessions, and it has been a great way to stay connected as a family and to really open up about how each of us is doing with the situation. It's been especially great for Jared and I, since we don't live at home and don't see all the day-to-day things that are going on. It's been a great insight for us into the struggle that this whole ordeal has been on Mom and Dad. To say that it's been a bit difficult the last few months is an understatement. Especially now that Dad is feeling a little better and is more alert, he wants to be more independent. But it's not recommended that he do all the things he'd like to do and he gets frustrated that he isn't able to. And since Mom is the one there with him all the time, it's hard for him to not take out his frustrations on her.

His memory is still not what it used to be as well, so he and Mom will have conversations about things and Dad won't remember them - and then gets mad at a later date because he feels like decisions have been made without his consent or input - when in reality, they have been and he just doesn't remember. I think they have decided to get a notebook to start writing down important conversations and decisions that have been made, so that Dad has a record of those conversations - a recommendation from a friend of ours whose family did the same thing with her Grandma when she had Alheimer's. In some ways, it is very much like Dad has a case of that! It's become apparent from these counselling sessions how much of a strain this has placed on Mom and Dad's relationship, but hopefully having a safe space to talk about their struggles each week will help them to overcome a lot of the stress that it has placed on their relationship. One thing is very clear, though, and that is how great of a job Mom is doing taking care of Dad. Between administering his medication, knowing when he needs which ones and how much of each to give, making sure that Dad is getting up and moving each day, balancing all the paperwork that is involved with Dad's care, planning all of the 'end of life' things that need to be in place for someone who is in palliative care - and still managing to get Brendan off to school each day, take care of bills that need to be paid, etc. etc. I don't know how she manages it all! Let's just say that her overnight vacation was very well deserved!

In other family news, Jesse left for BC a couple weeks ago to stay with Dad's brother John and his wife, Wendy for a few months. He's interested in starting his own landscaping business in the future, and Uncle John owns his own nursery, so Jesse is working for Uncle John while he's out there, getting more experience in the field. From what we've heard, he is enjoying his time out there so far.

And, last but not least, is the latest in Dad's condition. He's been feeling a bit tired this past week and he had a pretty bad fall last Thursday. The nurses were not happy with him, and stressed the importance of using his walker or wheelchair at all times (which he didn't do, and that's why he fell). Because of the steroids that he's on, his bones are very weak and can break quite easily, but thankfully, he did not injure himself seriously this time. We hope there won't be a next time and that he actually listens to the nurses' advice. I think so far he's been doing pretty good about using the walker and he is now wearing his transfer belt at all times as well. He has still been able to get out and about to a few outings, though, depsite not feeling quite as well this past week. Brendan had a volleyball tournament on Saturday and Dad made it out to one of his games. And last night, Jared and I had the privilege of going along with Mom and Dad to the Steve Bell concert. It was very good!

I think that's it for now. As always, we continue to ask for your prayers for Dad and the rest of the family. Thank you all for continuing to follow along, even though there hasn't been a lot to update on recently - just remember that no news is good news, so if you don't hear from me/us for a while, it means things are going well!

Some Pictures and Video From the Art Show

2009-02-20T09:19:00.003-06:00

Wanted to post these links here for those of you who weren't able to make it to the art exhibit at all. The first link is to Saint Benedict's Table. The preacher of this church, Jamie Howison was one of the ones who spoke at the opening and closing ceremonies of the show. The second is video footage that was shot by Shaw TV (posted on SignPost Music's website).

Hope you enjoy!
Dana

http://saintbenedictstable.ca/ - You'll have to scroll down the page quite a way. The link is in a news box in the center of the page ("Folkerts/Unfinished Business"). Click on the link and you can see a slide show of pictures from the closing ceremony, as well as listen to the address by Jamie Howison and Cal Seerveld.

http://signpostmusic.com - Scroll about half way down the page and the link is in the middle of the page under "Latest News - Folkerts Event Aired on Shaw TV". You may have to upgrade your Windows Media player - or if you have the lastest version, click on the box saying so and the video will come onto the screen.

Latest News

2009-02-20T08:56:00.002-06:00

Sorry for the delay in updating. Dad was supposed to have a meeting with the Palliative doctor last Friday, but we didn't hear anything all week until Jared and I were at Mom and Dad's on Wednesday night for supper. The meeting ended up not happening. I think they just talked to the doctor over the phone. Or to the palliative nurse, Mom didn't really specify. Either way, they have decided to switch a couple of Dad's medications back to pill form for a while, but that was the only change after his CT scan.

Dad had a great personal accomplishment on Wednesday, though. He's been asking to go up to his art studio for a few weeks now and he finally had the energy to make it up there with the physical therapist on Wednesday! He was very proud of himself, and we were very happy for him that he got to see his studio again. It's funny how your priorities change once you become sick. Who would have thought five months ago that walking up two flights of stairs would be such a big deal? It really puts things into perspective and makes you realize that so many of the little trivial things that we worry about each day are really not all that important in the long run.

CT Scan Results

2009-02-06T23:20:00.002-06:00

Well, Mom and Dad were at Health Sciences today getting the results of Dad's CT scan. The news wasn't great, but it was what we have all been expecting to hear. The swelling has been reduced, but the tumor is still there and hasn't shrunk at all. There is a chance it has grown further down into Dad's brain, but they can't tell that at all from the CT scan, so we have no way of knowing for sure. The palliative care doctor, Dr. Garcia, will be making a trip to the house this next Friday (the 13th) to re-evaluate Dad's condition and possibly mix up the concoction of medications that Dad is on. Mom mentioned that they might put Dad back on the pill form of the steroids, instead of the liquid ports that he has now in order to give his arms and legs a bit of a break from that.

Since I haven't posted at all since the art show, I wanted to take a minute to mention that as well. It was a very good weekend - very busy - but it was so good to see so many people out supporting Dad and the family. Thursday night at the opening was PACKED! It was wall to wall with people! We heard around 400 in total - I'm sure we broke the fire code regulations for the building! But it was good. Dad even stood up and gave a short speech. He returned again on Sunday for the closing ceremony, and again said a few words. There was a constant stream of people passing through all weekend, and there were a lot of books and prints that sold, as well as a few pieces of artwork. We haven't heard final numbers of books or prints sold yet, but I know there was a lot! So thank you to everyone that came out. It was so great to see so many friends, family, and acquaintances. And a huge thank you to Steve Bell, Jamie Howison, and all the others that organized the event. It was something really special for Dad to look forward to, and we were all very grateful that he got to be there to see everyone's hard work come together.

And finally, a word about some rumors.....we've heard a few things through the grapevine since Dad got sick that we've shaken our heads over and wondered how people heard such things. The latest tidbit of information that floated our way was that Dad's tumor is gone. While we would love for that to happen, and we are still praying for that miracle, it is not the case. So, I am officially setting the record straight, and I ask that before you repeat anything that you hear about Dad, please check the blog first to confirm if it is true. We created this blog in order to keep people informed - so if you hear something that hasn't been posted on here, please check with an immediate family member before spreading the news around. We appreciate your co-operation, and we are doing our best to keep you up to date on Dad's condition.

On behalf of all of us,
Dana

Another Article and a CT Scan

2009-01-29T10:01:00.002-06:00

For those of you that missed it, Morley Walker wrote another article about Dad in the Winnipeg Free Press yesterday. I haven't checked yet to see if it's been posted on the website, but I'll update if gets added....

And for the big news, Dad will be receiving another CT scan to check on the swelling around the tumor. It's been scheduled for this next Monday, February 2nd at 9 pm. Then Dad goes back in for bloodwork and to find out the results on the 6th of February. From what Mom told us last night, I don't think they are looking much at the tumor, just at the swelling around it. I guess we'll find out for sure on the 6th when we get the results!

Also wanted to post a reminder about the art exhibit, "Unfinished Business". It opens tonight at the Outworks Gallery @ 7 pm (address and more details @ www.folkerts.ca). The whole family, including Dad, will be there and we're looking forward to a night out with family and friends.

Antibiotics and Outings

2009-01-27T08:16:00.002-06:00

Well, I will share the bad news first. Dad had a bit of rattling in his chest a few days ago and the nurses checked him over and determined he was getting a cold. Normally, not such a big deal. But Dad's immune system is still in a very weak state. The doctors put him on antibiotics, and so far, he is doing well. He has to take them for five days, but the effects are supposed to last about another five days after he's done taking them. Hopefully they do the trick and it doesn't develop into pneumonia.

Now for the good news.....where to start is the question?!?!? Dad has been feeling really good the last week or so, despite having a cold. He's been up and about in the house on a regular basis, and he's been more coherent in the last week than he has been for quite a while. It's so nice to see glimpses of the 'old' Dad. Since he's been feeling so well, Dad has been spending a lot of time on the phone calling friends and family. I know he's been thoroughly enjoying the converstations he's been having, and I'm sure he has many more people that he'd like to talk to yet.

His other exciting news is that he actually got out of the house on Saturday. Mom and Dad went out for supper to the Inn at the Forks with a few friends, and Dad told us on Sunday that it was absolutely amazing. I think he was really glad to finally be outside again after being cooped up in the house for so long. I know he is also getting very excited for the art show this weekend, and is looking forward to seeing friends and family.

And finally, as always, we continue to ask for your prayers. Even though the art show is only a few short days away, a lot can change in that short amount of time. Please pray that Dad would continue to feel well enough to come to the show, and that the antiobiotics would clear up his cold before the weekend is here.

A Visit from the Palliative Doctor

2009-01-17T18:37:00.002-06:00

Well, Dad had a visit last week from the Palliative care doctor, Dr. Garcia. They decided to increase his dexamethazone (steroid) medication in order to improve Dad's cognitive functions. So far it is working, and Mom started to see improvements beginning Tuesday of this week. Dad has been more alert and awake the last few days than he has been for quite a while, and also has an increased appetite. It's been so nice to see him up and out of bed a little more often, and able to joke and carry on much longer conversations than he was able to a few weeks ago.

Another new piece of equipment has arrived in the last few weeks as well. Mom and Dad now have a Hoyer Power lift for the days that Dad doesn't have the strength to get up out of bed. This has made it much easier for Mom to get him up when he isn't able to help, although I don't think they have had to use it much since it arrived.

The doctors and nurses are continuing to moniter his condition and his medication levels. And we continue to pray that we would see healing in Dad's brain. We are also getting excited for Dad's art show at the end of January, and are very hopeful that Dad will be able to make it out for the show.

In the Papers

2009-01-04T16:09:00.002-06:00

Mom thought it would be a good idea to mention this here, in case anyone may have missed it. Dad has been featured in two different papers in the past few weeks. The first article was printed in the Winnipeg Free Press before Christmas. And we just found out today that there is an article in the latest edition of Christian Week as well.

For anyone who missed the Free Press article, it can be found on the website for Dad's art show: www.folkerts.ca. Click on 'Article' and it will display the whole thing. Since the Christian Week article just came out today it's not on the website yet. I'll update on here if it does get added.

That's it for today. We saw Dad today after church and he's doing about the same as he has been the last few weeks. He's not necessarily any better, but he's also not really any worse, which is always good news. We continue to hope and pray for a few more months with him, but we just have to keep taking it one day at a time, trusting that God knows best how much longer he'll be here with us.

Threat of Pneumonia

2008-12-29T14:23:00.002-06:00

Hello All!

I hope everyone has had a good Christmas. Our family had what seemed like a very busy one. Mom and Dad celebrated on Christmas day with friends, while Jared and I travelled with our kids to Brandon to spend a few days with my family. It was a good trip, although we were hesitant to go with Dad being so sick. However, we are very thankful that nothing happened while we were away, and despite what we were told could happen, Dad made it through Christmas! Praise the Lord!

However, with the praise, there is also some bad news. We got a call on Boxing Day from Mom telling us that the nurse thought Dad might be getting pneumonia. It's a common problem amongst patients who have to spend so much time in bed - they aren't able to be up and about enough to get any fluid out of their lungs, and so it settles in and turns into pneumonia. Mom was instructed to turn Dad every two hours from side to side to help his lungs drain and the nurse returned on Saturday (the 27th) to check on how Dad was doing. Thankfully, the tiny rattle that had been in his chest on Friday was gone, and so far, there are no more signs of pneumonia. But, with Dad being almost completely confined to bed, the threat is still there, and I'm sure it will only increase the longer he is confined to bed. He is also starting to develop a few bed sores, which I'm sure will not be comfortable for him. I'm not sure what they can to do remedy that, short of changing his position every few hours. So please continue to keep him (and the rest of us) in your prayers.

I also want to take a moment to mention the art show that is being planned on behalf of Dad. Steve Bell briefly mentioned it in the comments section - He, along with a bunch of Dad's close friends have planned an exhibition featuring his two latest series of paintings here in Winnipeg at the end of January/beginning of February. We are all very excited for it, and more info can be found on the website: www.folkerts.ca. I know they've been doing a lot of updates on the site the last few days, so please continue to keep checking it for info!

A Steady Decline

2008-12-22T12:05:00.002-06:00

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to say a huge thank you to all of you for the continued support and prayers. Words can't begin to express how grateful we are for the outpouring of love that has been shown to our family over these last few months. And we're going to continue to need that support as Dad continues to decline.

Starting today palliative home care workers will be at the house from 8:30 am till 4:30 pm seven days a week. The overnight care also continues 7 nights a week. It's an adjustment to have someone else in the house for so much of the day, but I know Mom really appreciates the extra set of hands when they need to get Dad up out of bed, or help him shift positions. He got a new hospital bed last week, one with a support bar on the top for him to help pull himself up when he needs to. Although, his strength is continuing to wane, and so he can only use it about 50% of the time. He also got permanent ports put into his left arm and thigh yesterday so that Mom doesn't have to try to get him to swallow pills anymore. She was shown yesterday how to administer liquid medication through the ports, and gets the pleasure of doing that a few times each day. In another life, she would have made a great nurse!

Despite Dad's decline in health, though, we still have many things to be thankful for. The nurses have told us that patients with this sort of illness often become very irate and rude towards the end, lashing out at family or friends and even swearing at them. Thankfully, we have not seen that in Dad at all. While he sometimes gets annoyed at the constant regime of pills (which will be alleviated now with the ports), he is still very much the gentle, loving man that he has always been. We've even seen hints of his sense of humor still, which is such a blessing. We are also very thankful that he is still able to remain at home, where we are free to visit with him as often as we like and don't have to brave the cold weather every time we want to see him. He's also not in any sort of pain, which is a huge relief for all of us.

However, there is still the reality hanging over all of our heads that Dad is not getting any better. He is slowly declining and unfortunately, there is nothing we can do for him, short of keeping him comfortable. As Christmas draws near, we're all finding it a little difficult to be our usual cheerful selves. Christmas is normally such a happy time - a time for celebration. But our journey this year seems to be taking us down a different path - one of sorrow and of loss. It's so hard to find the joy of the season when we are slowly losing one we love so much. But, thankfully, there is One who loves us even more than we love Dad. Jesus Christ, who came as a baby at Christmas, to one day die on the cross to save us all - He gives us the hope and the strength that we need to keep going forward. Knowing that Dad walked so closely with Him brings a small measure of comfort and the peace of knowing that Dad will join Him in Heaven.

And so we continue to ask for your prayers. Prayers for strength, and of peace and of God's love and comfort. We need to feel those things so desperately right now. Pray also that what will most likely be our last few weeks with Dad would be good weeks for our family - that we would continue to love and support each other in our hurt and our grief. And please continue to pray for Dad - that he would continue to be comfortable and without pain at home. And that he, too, would feel God's love during this time.

No Signs of Improvement

2008-12-16T20:14:00.003-06:00

Well, unfortunately, as the days and weeks go by, we continue to see Dad's health declining. Some days are better than others, but as time passes, he is slowly spending more and more time in bed. At the recommendation of the palliative care nurse, Dad is now undergoing palliative care at home. Mom has home care workers coming from 8:30 to 4:30 seven days a week, and overnight care is being provided 7 nights a week. We have decided as a family that we would like Dad to be at home for as long as possible. It allows us to spend the most amount of time possible with him, which is what we've been focusing on these last few weeks. We're so very grateful that he is still able to be at home and especially grateful for the days that he is feeling up to sitting at the table with us for meals. We don't want to take any of this time for granted, so we've been doing our best to make the most of the situation and spend as much quality time with Dad as we can.

We've also been enjoying visits from family and friends. Some days it feels like the visitors never stop - I'm sure even more so for Mom and the other kids, since it's their house! But it brings a welcome relief to see those that we love continuing to come and visit and spend time not only with the family, but visiting with Dad as well. We know he enjoys these visits very much, even when he doesn't always have the energy for long conversations.

Please continue to keep all of us in your prayers. There is a great likelihood that this Christmas will be the last one that we get to spend with Dad, so your prayers for us during the holidays are greatly appreciated.

MRI Update

2008-12-07T20:34:00.002-06:00

Well, we finally got the results from the MRI. Mom and Dad, along with Jared, Janis, Jesse, and Grandma Folkerts (Gerald's mom) met with the team of oncologists and nurses on Friday afternoon around 1 pm. The news was not what we were hoping for, but based on how Dad has been feeling, it was what we expected. The tumor, unfortunately, showed no signs of responding to the radiation and chemo. There is some increased swelling around the tumor since Dad was first diagnosed, but otherwise there has been no change. The other unfortunate news is that because Dad has been feeling so tired as of late that another round of chemotherapy is not an option right now.

Hearing this, while it was not a shock, has not been easy. It's been a very emotional weekend for all of us, and because the news was not as good as we were hoping, we decided to have our Christmas celebration early this year. Jared and I and the kids went to Mom and Dad's for supper last night (Saturday) and we ate a nice meal together and opened all of our gifts. It was a bit surreal to be celebrating so early, but we wanted to do it on a night while Dad was feeling fairly energetic, and it was a very good evening spent together as a family.

This most recent news has left us wondering where do we go from here? I don't know that we necessarily have an answer. We just continue to take things one day at a time. To give Mom a bit of a break, Home Care has been set up for Dad, and there are now workers coming a few times a week during the day, and also 6 nights a week overnights (11 pm - 7 am) to help care for Dad. Mom's been enjoying getting a full nights sleep now that they are coming overnights! The rest of us are still busy with the daily grind of school, homework, and caring for the kids. I think all of us are looking forward to Christmas break and the chance to unwind a little.

And above all else, we continue to trust in our Heavenly Father. We know that He is here with us, holding us all in His tender loving hands, offering the comfort and solace we so desperately seek.

A Lament from an old friend

2008-12-01T23:18:00.004-06:00

An old professor of Dad's wrote this lament for him and posted it on his blog. We have asked his permission to share it here - it's beautiful in its honesty and fragility. Thank you, James Schaap! ~From all of us

Lament

He sat in the back, way in the back, left side. Didn’t say much either, but it was clear to me that he wasn’t dumb. He had this problem with getting work in on time—that I remember well. He was the kind of student who gives you headaches because you’ve got to bug him (or her) to stay tuned. But then, that was not an unfamiliar way of life to me.

Somehow, I got roped into sponsoring the soccer club that year, my very first year of college teaching. I don’t know how, because I knew nothing about soccer except that it was a game with astonishingly little scoring. It seemed to me an exercise in futility sometimes, but I’d been a coach before and I enjoyed the camaraderie cruising along in the van with the team.

This tall kid was one of them, quite talented too, a freshman who played a ton of soccer that year, even though he was one of the new kids on the block.

I don’t know if I had him as a student after that, but some kids you don’t lose sight of—probably because they don’t lose sight of you. This one I remembered, too.

He became a teacher, and an artist, a kid with exceptional talent with a brush and in other media as well, I suppose; and when I’d visit the place he and his wife had chosen to live, I’d run into him. He looked the artist, a pony tail shaped like an artist's brush halfway down his back from thick dark hair, hair to die for. He’d put on weight—never too much, but enough to square him up, so much so that he was an impressive physical specimen, a man with a presence. Even in a crowded room, you didn’t look past him.

And he did well as an artist, well enough to be noticed, well enough to have his work purchased and on display at a number of places and in collections, including here at his alma mater. That’s one, above—a rabbi sleeping on a bench, another man, the artist himself, walking away, leaving the scene--that one is his.

I saw him last weekend and couldn’t help but notice the half-dollar-sized spaces in that thick head of hair. He has brain cancer, and his chances are not at all good.

Twice, his singing group assembled in the front of big crowds, and all eight of them held forth beautifully; but he had obvious trouble holding up his share of the bass line. At times, he was behind a step or two—or just not with the program. But he stood there—sometimes sat—with his gang, and just seeing him up there was, to me and others, the kind of rich testimony that makes people wipe their eyes.

Twice, I saw his wife reach for hers, even though she tried stubbornly to fight the tears. And that's the picture I'm left with, his wife alone in a chair or pew, losing a battle with tears.
In little more than 12 hours I gave two talks, two speeches that had me scared spitless for more than a week. I wanted those speeches to go well, spent more than my share of worry wondering whether what I had prepared would move anyone.

What I didn’t imagine is that the story of the weekend was the story of a tall, skinny kid I had in class almost 35 years ago, a man who is now a 50-year-old man, in the prime of creative life, a pony-tailed painter and husband and father being taken slowly, painfully, from those he loves as nothing less than evil eats away at those very acute perceptions that made him an artist.
We’re not talking about a saint here. We’re not talking about someone whose life didn’t occasionally rush off in directions he hadn’t planned or later wished he’d not taken. He was as human as the rest of us.

As human as the rest of us. And now he’s facing death.

I wish I could write a thoughtful homily I could put in an inside pocket, close to my heart, something that would stanch the bleeding from my own soul.

I don’t like death.

Later today I face another class full of students. I’d like to tell them, if I could, that, quite honestly, nobody knows what life holds for them. I’d like to say a ton of things, but I won’t. Maybe one of those kids will be an artist too—who knows?

We’ll just go on. We’ll read a story about a father’s loves for his daughter, a father who talks to God. That’s what we’ll be doing. We’ll go on. As we always do.

Last night at a committee meeting, the chair extended sympathy to two members who, in the last while, lost two family members. Tonight I’ll go to a wake. Yesterday was Veteran’s Day. This country has only one doughboy left—107 years old—from the First World War. All the rest are in the earth, “one mighty sepulcher,” William Cullen Bryant once called it in a poem he wrote, as unlikely as it seems, when he 19.

It’s all around us, really, this mess. But we go on. Grab a Kleenex maybe, howl some.
But the human story—our need for love, God’s love—just keeps playing. Just keeps playing.
Not unlike soccer maybe, a game—or so it seems this morning—with not much scoring.

MRI and recent updates

2008-11-27T17:12:00.005-06:00

Hello All!

Been meaning to update all week - but the closer it gets to Christmas, the busier life seems to become, and it's hard to find the time to do all the 'extra' things I need to get done in a day! Thankfully Jared will be done school for the semester in a couple weeks and then he'll be able to help out around the house a bit more.

Anyway...Dad had his MRI on Friday. We haven't heard anything to the contrary, so I am assuming that it went well. I think we're all hoping this week goes by quickly, as we have to wait until this next Friday, Dec. 5th to get the results back. From this we will have a better idea of how Dad's tumor is doing and if it responded at all to his radiation and chemo treatments. We will also get news on a possible second round of treatment, which will most likely involve much heavier doses of chemo than the last time around. But until Friday, we don't know anything for sure.

I can tell you a few things that have been going on around Mom and Dad's house this last week, though. On Monday Mom had a hospital bed delivered for Dad. Because he has been sleeping so much, and because he is such a big guy and it's getting harder and harder for Mom to help him get up out of bed, she went ahead and ordered the hospital bed for him. It has been set up in the family room and so far, it seems to be working well, although I don't think Dad cares for being on the main floor much. But this is a lot better than having him collapse while walking up the stairs!

Mom has also had to install some other safety measures around the house, including rails on the toilet to help Dad get up. One of Mom's sisters and her husband visited earlier in the week and brought along four canes for Dad. They also have a walker and a wheelchair, so there is no shortage of ways to get him up and about when he needs it!

However, with the installation and arrival of all of these things, comes the realization that Dad is becoming increasingly ill. We were told after the first round of treatments that Dad would be almost back to his normal self for a few months, but unfortunately, that has yet to happen. While he has been feeling better the last few days than he has for the last few weeks - he's been awake and more alert than he had been - he is still not bouncing back from the first round of treatments like we thought he would. So, we continue to hope and pray for miracles of healing and of strength for Dad. And no matter what, we continue to believe that God is in control of this situation and that He continues to walk beside us down this bumpy gravel road.

Disappointing News for Dad

2008-11-18T17:15:00.003-06:00

Well, Mom and Dad were supposed to make a trip to Edmonton this upcoming weekend, and unfortunately, it has been called off. Dad's last board meeting at King's University College is this weekend, along with an art show that Dad really wanted to see, but he hasn't been feeling very well lately, and so the trip has been called off. He is very disappointed, but the doctor's (and Mom!) feel it is best that he not travel that far right now. He's been sleeping 18-20 hours a day the last few weeks, he's been throwing up, and his sense of balance continues to be off. He's also had a very mininal appetite, so between that, and the getting sick, we are starting to notice him losing some weight. Mom is also looking into getting Dad a cane to help with his balance. She looked at a few stores, but so far, none of them have sold canes that will be tall enough for Dad, so she will have to try a medical supply store.

It's so very hard to watch Dad going through all of this. Some days are better than others, but the bad days are especially tough. To see him struggle to do things that we all take for granted is not an easy thing to watch - things like changing the channel on the tv, or checking our email. Going through this ordeal just reaffirms how fragile life is, and reminds us that we need to cherish every moment we have with our family and friends. It's also a great reminder of how awesome and powerful our God is. That even in our weakness, we can still seek Him and He will be there for us. We sang the song in church on Sunday that I quoted on here a while back, "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman. That song continues to provide us comfort and hope, knowing that God hasn't let us go throughout this whole journey. He continues to guide us and hold us in the palm of His loving Handm, providing the comfort we seek, and the strength to keep on going. I pray that we continue to feel His presence as the days go on and our journey continues.

We Have a Date for the MRI!

2008-11-12T22:35:00.002-06:00

Hello Everyone!

It feels like I haven't updated much on here lately, and I guess that's because there hasn't been a whole lot going on. Each day brings its own set of challenges, but for the most part, life has settled into a sort of routine. Especially for Jared and I, who are no longer living at home, life seems almost normal most days. Work and school continue, and we are constantly busy with the kids. Life at Mom and Dad's has been a little more hectic, though. Brendan is busy with school and volleball. Jesse is busy with work and coaching volleyball. Janis is busy with homework and school. And Mom is very busy with Dad. His energy levels have continued to decline, and it can take hours to get him up and out of bed in the morning. He has also been throwing up lately, which is an unfortunate side effect of his pills. And his cognition is not what it used to be.

We are hoping and praying, however, that we get good news after Dad's MRI. The date has finally been scheduled, and it will take place on November 28th. The follow up appointment where we get the results will take place on December 5th. No matter what we receive for news that day, we know that God is in control of this situation. Even when we don't understand it, or like what it may mean, we have to keep trusting in our Saviour that He knows what He's doing. It's hard some days to remember that, but I'm so very thankful we have Him to rely on through all this.

Thank you once again to everyone for your continued prayers and support. Words cannot express how much we love and appreciate each and every one of you!

Until next time...
Dana

Yet Another CT Scan....

2008-10-30T15:20:00.002-05:00

Spoke with Mom about two hours ago, and they finally got Dad in for a CT scan late this morning. They got the results back and it showed significant swelling on Dad's brain, which explains the odd behaviour and major lack of energy he's had the last week or so. It also explains the dizzy spells he was having last night, and so they have now increased his steroid pills from 2 up to 4 a day. When I talked to Mom, Dad was just finishing up some lunch and then Jesse was going to be picking them up and bringing them home, so they should be there by now. I'm sure they are both resting this afternoon, as they both had a very short night of sleep last night.

Thank you all so much for your prayers! It was too early to tell anything else on the CT scan as far as how the tumor has responded to treatments, so we still have to wait another few weeks for the MRI to find out anything more. Here's hoping that the steroid pills help Dad regain some energy and that we have an uneventful couple of weeks while we wait for the MRI!

Another Trip to the ER

2008-10-30T09:12:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that Dad is at the hospital again. He was having some balance issues last night - getting dizzy and even falling down once. He had three episodes at home last night while getting ready for bed, so Mom called the on-call oncologist and they said to bring him in to the ER. He had another episode at the hospital, so they put him in a wheelchair and then they had to wait for a room to open up. Janis was with Mom and Dad and they sat in the ER waiting room until 5 am this morning. Janis came to our place (Jared and Dana's) to get some sleep once Mom and Dad were settled in and Mom and Dad were able to sleep for a few hours in the room. I just talked to Mom a few minutes ago, and the doctor was finally able to come in and see Dad. They are going to start him on an IV and get him some breakfast and then they want to do a CT scan to check on the swelling on his brain.

He had been in for bloodwork on Wednesday to check his levels, as they had upped the steroid pill earlier in the week. He seemed to be doing a bit better since they increased the pill to two a day, but it would appear now that there may still be significant amounts of swelling on his brain. Mom's going to call once they get the results of the CT scan (which will likely be in a few hours), so I'll post more once I get some more info. Until then, please keep on praying!

Sincerely,
Dana

It's All About Balance

2008-10-23T16:04:00.003-05:00

Jared and I have used this phrase a lot, lately: "It's all about balance." Balancing school, kids, homework, time with family. The more I think about it, the more I realize that life itself is all about balance. And this is ringing very true for Dad as he goes through this gravel road journey as well. The difficulty right now is in finding the right balance of medication. I just spoke with Mom on the phone a few minutes ago and they are once again going to be increasing Dad's steroid pills back up to two pills a day. He's been a bit confused and having a hard time processing things this past week. And he's also been having headaches again. The symptoms point to swelling on the brain, so once again, the steroids need to be increased. Dad will have blook work on Wednesday next week so that they can check the levels and make sure everything is balanced once again.

The increased swelling also means that there is an increased risk of more seizures. Mom and Dad had been planning a trip to Iowa to visit Mom's family next weekend, but unfortunately because of how Dad has been feeling these last few days, they have revoked approval for the trip. Mom's parents aren't able to travel up here to visit due to their own health concerns, so even though it's best for Dad's health to stay close to home, I know that Mom was really looking forward to seeing her parents. We're not sure what this will mean for our possible family vacation, either. We won't be able to make the decision to go anywhere one way or the other until we have the results back from the MRI. So for now, we continue to wait, and continue to try to find the balance of living our lives and just sitting around waiting for news. It's hard to find that balance sometimes, and we ask for your continued prayers as we try to achieve this.

It's Finally Happened!

2008-10-14T17:20:00.004-05:00

Well, it finally started happening this past week. Dad is losing his hair. I think Mom said it started on Thursday, and by Monday, when we celebrated Thanksgiving together at our place, Dad had a very large bald spot on the top of his head, and a smaller one on the right side. Both are from the radiation treatments, and we have been told that Dad will have permanent hair loss in these places. The rest of his hair is still in tact, though, so I think Dad's plan for now is to buy a hat of some sort so that he can keep the ponytail.

And today marks the last day of the radiation and chemo treatments! The next step is another MRI to see how well the tumor has responded to the 'cocktail' of drugs that Dad has been taking these last few weeks. It will be sometime in the next 4-6 weeks. Mom and Dad have heard it could be the week of November 10th, but they don't have a confirmed date yet. So at this point, it is a waiting game. Thankfully Dad is still feeling quite well, other than a decreased energy level. We've been talking about a family vacation together but are still deciding on a location and when will be the best time to go. Unfortunately, flights are very expensive, but travelling long distances with a toddler and a baby is never much fun, so we're still debating which will be the best course of action. But it is something fun that we can do together that we're all very much looking forward to.

And as always, I want to thank everyone for their prayers and support throughout this time. We appreciate it more than words can say, and we ask that you continue to support us in prayer as we await this next MRI and whatever the results may tell us.

A Message from Gerald

2008-10-03T15:39:00.002-05:00

Hello again! Just received this email from Dad and he has asked me to post on his behalf:

We knew it wouldn't be easy, but we went to church as a family this past Sunday morning. I was quite sure that I would be overcome by emotion and wouldn't be able to sing - turns out I was wrong...

On Wednesday night, Celebr8 had our first scheduled rehearsal since last spring. Singing songs like "Fly Away" and "When the Kingdom Comes" brought joy and strength to all of us in the circle. As much as everything has changed, it seems equally significant to experience, and celebrate, moments of normalcy.

Part of that normalcy is adjusting to new priorities and family activities; daily treatments at Cancer Care, the daily regimen of medication, intentional family times to ask every family member, "So, how are you doing?" It can be a challenge and often times difficult to determine the correct answer to that question.

The image I've used is that life seems as if it's being lived out in a little rubber dingy in a very large ocean. It's often difficult to determine if the dingy is riding the crest of the wave or if it is plummeting into the trough of the next wave.

Oddly enough, I believe that mostly I am riding on the crest of a wave and then, occasionally I realize that I have slipped into a Jonah-like valley of darkness and despair.

The words of Isaiah 41:10 continue to challenge me:

"So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

We have been overwhelmed by the many ways we have experienced love and suport from family and friends: hugs, cards, food, rides, telephone chats, visits, gift cards, etc.

Finally, and (I knew it was coming), I had to surrender my driver's license yesterday due to the full body seizures I experienced on September 12th. Being a passenger for the next year (especially during winter) may be a bit of a challenge for both Arlis and myself...apparenly I need to learn to bit my tongue before speaking!

Shalom and "sterkte" to all,
Gerald

Sorry it's been so long!

2008-10-02T20:12:00.003-05:00

Hello again, everyone!

I apologize for not updating sooner. It's been a busy week in our household and I haven't had much time on the computer at all. However, there haven't been too many changes over the last week or so, which is definitely good news.

Dad is now about half way through his treatment schedule. He's been going for radiation every Monday to Friday and has also been taking the oral chemotherapy 7 days a week, so we're nearing the end of Week 2. The first few radiation treatments took about half an hour, as everything needed to be explained, but now that Dad has been going for this long, he's only in the room about 10 or 15 minutes. Family has been able to go along and watch and Jared and I were there on Wednesday. It was a very cool experience. Dad lays down on a table and they place the 'helmet' over his face. It's clamped down onto the table and they line up the helmet using laser beams from the ceiling. Then everyone leaves the room and Dad is "zapped" three times for a couple minutes each time. The machine that emits the radiation is a lot larger than we thought it would be, and it rotates around whatever part of your body is being treated (in Dad's case, his head.) The table on the floor also rotates to accomodate whatever angle the treatment is coming from. It's very neat. There are computer moniters just outside the room and that's where visitors get to watch. If Dad needs out of the helmet at any time, all he has to do is wave a hand and they will come unlatch him. I asked him if he feels anything while the treatments are happening, and the only thing that he feels is a bit of pressure from the helmet on his face. Anyone who has clautrophobia would NOT like this sort of thing! You can also hear a whirring sound in the background while the radiation is happening, but besides that, it's a very quick and painless procedure.

Dad has also had some adjustments made to his medications in the last week. He had been on three steroid pills a day and three anti-seizure pills a day. However, he was having some slight tremors on his right side, and so they lowered the steriods to two a day and upped the anti-seizure medication to 4 pills a day. He goes for blood work at least once a week to check on how all the medications are working together and to make sure everything is staying balanced, and on Wednesday Dad mentioned that they had lowered the steriods down to one and a half pills a day. It seems like it's a bit of a fine art trying to balance out all the different levels of drugs that he's on, but thankfully there are very skilled people at HSC to take care of all that! And Mom has been doing an amazing job of keeping track of all of Dad's pills and which ones need to be taken with food, which ones without food, etc. etc.

Physically Dad is still doing really well. He still gets tired easily, but I don't think he has many complaints beyond that. No sign of any hair loss yet that we've heard of, so all in all, I think he's faring pretty well. Now it's just a waiting game until treatments are done and Dad has another MRI to see how well the tumor has responded to all of these drugs!!!

And finally, because my description won't do it justice, here are a few pictures from Dad's treament on Wednesday.

The computer screens that we watched on. The door to the room is to the right of these moniters and Dad is essentially on the other side of the wall behind the screens.

A view from inside the room.

The helmet! Jared said it reminded him of Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs.

Treatments Have Begun!

2008-09-23T22:56:00.002-05:00

Well, as the title says, Dad has started his treatments. He had his first one on Monday, and another again today. He'll be continuing radiation treatments Monday to Friday for the next few weeks, and will also be taking oral chemotherapy pills 7 days a week during this time. Treatments end on the 14th of October, but the side effects might last another few weeks after that. About 4-6 weeks after treatments are finished Dad will have another MRI done to check on the tumor's response to all the drugs. Hopefully it will be good news, but that's a long way off right now.

So far Dad hasn't had too bad of a reaction. He's been feeling a bit nauseous and food doesn't taste very appetizing to him anymore. But I think other than that, he is handling the medication pretty well. From what the doctors have said, though, it will only get worse, which is expected. Hopefully it's not too bad. For now we are all taking things one day at a time, and are constantly praying for healing, comfort and strength. It's so good to know that so many friends and family are praying right along with us.

The 911 Update

2008-09-19T17:56:00.004-05:00

We are home from the hospital, and thankfully, I have good news to report. Dad had three seizures earlier - two at home, the second of which was a grand mal seizure, and a third in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. But he is now recovering very nicely at the Health Sciences.

When we arrived, he was unable to speak, and had limited mobility. He could communicate with the doctors and nurses by squeezing their hands or pushing with his feet. They gave him some anti-seizure medication and did yet another CT scan around 8:15 pm. After a trip to KFC/Taco Bell for some food, we were able to get back in to see him and he was sitting up in bed and able to talk to all of us. The CT scan showed that everything was normal (as normal as can be with a tumor!), and that the swelling around the tumor has actually decreased a little since the last scan earlier in the week. They are keeping him overnight for observation and will be sending him home tomorrow morning. Mom is staying overnight with him in the hospital, so I'm sure it will be another long night for her, but we're all very thankful for the outcome of this evening. I don't think I need to say that it could have been a lot worse - we are very thankful that it was not!

We were able to get a bit more information from Mom tonight about Dad's treatments we well. There was fear earlier this evening that the seizures would interfere with treatment, but everything is a go for Monday. Dad will be doing radiation treatments five days a week (Monday to Friday) for 16 days, and will also be taking oral chemotherapy pills 7 days a week during that time. They now know that it is a level 4 tumor, so my understanding is that the therapy will be pretty aggressive.

One specific prayer request right now is that Dad has a certain enzyme in his body that will respond well to the chemo. Mom briefly explained tonight that people either have the enzyme or they don't - and there's no way to tell, other than by how people react to the chemo. If they have the enzyme, it bonds well with the chemo and helps the radation to be more effective. If they don't have the enzyme, the radiation doesn't work as well. So we're praying that Dad will have the enzyme in his body so that the treatments can work as effectively as possible.

As always, thank you so much for your faithful prayers for Dad and for the family.

Dana

URGENT PRAYER NEEDED!

2008-09-19T17:56:00.001-05:00

Hi everyone,

I wish I had more information, but we need some urgent prayers. We just got a phone call from Janis, and from what we gathered, Dad laid down to sleep earlier this afternoon and when Mom tried to wake him up a few moments ago, he wasn't responding. They called 911 and the paramedics arrived at the house just a few minutes ago. They're taking Dad to Health Sciences and we're leaving right away to meet the rest of the family there. We have no idea what this means, or what could happen, but please pray for us and especially for Dad!

I'll update once I know more!
Dana

Team Planning Meeting

2008-09-16T14:21:00.003-05:00

Hello again,

Got a phone call from Mom this afternoon, and they have word on the team planning meeting. It will be this Friday, Sept. 19th. She didn't mention a time. But the meeting will include Mom and Dad, the neurosurgeon, a social worker, and a whole host of other hospital staff. They'll go over treatment details and the pathology report from Dad's biopsy. Once this meeting is done, they will be able to start treatments, but I don't think they will start over the weekend, so I think Monday will be Dad's first day of radiation. I'm sure we'll know more after Friday's meeting.

Treatments Coming Soon!

2008-09-15T15:53:00.002-05:00

Well, first of all, I will fill everyone in on the weekend. As of my last post, Dad's biopsy had gone well and he was recovering in the hospital. He was released on Saturday after a CT scan and he and Mom got home around 1 pm. Then, around supper time Dad had a clumsy moment (happens to the best of us!), and tripped on the stairs, bumping his head on the way down. Normally, not such a big deal, but when you've just had your head cut open, that's not exactly what you want to have happen! Thankfully, Dad told Mom about the incident and they made a trip back to the ER for yet another CT scan to make sure there was no swelling or bleeding. Thankfully, all was fine, and they were home again just after midnight. I haven't asked Dad yet if he's getting sick of all the CT scans....need to remember to ask him one of these days! Although I'm sure he'll have many more yet before this ordeal is done.

Anyway...Sunday was a nice relaxing day at home for everyone, and today it was back to the hospital for Mom and Dad. Dad got fitted for his radiation helmet and has been told that treatments will be starting either later this week, or early next week. We're hoping for later this week, but they need the pathology report from the biopsy before they can start treatments. So that is what we are waiting for right now. As always, we ask for continued prayer, specifically that the report from pathology would come back by the end of this week.

And I also want to say a huge thank you thus far for the out-pouring of love and support that has been shown by friends, family, and acquaintances. As I read all of your comments, it never ceases to amaze me how faithful God is in providing people in our lives to uplift, encourage, and inspire us when we need it the most. On behalf of our entire family, THANK YOU! from the bottom of our hearts!

Dana

It's Gonna Be a LOOOONG Night for Mom!

2008-09-12T23:35:00.005-05:00

Well, we went to visit Dad at the hospital tonight (around 7:30 pm) and he was doing very well. Aside from the small strip of missing hair and the staples in his head, you'd never know he'd just had surgery! He was, however, a little disappointed to learn that he had been having Tylenol intravenously. Turns out he's not quite the macho man he thought he was. But we still love him!

Mom, however, has a long night ahead of her. She is staying overnight with Dad, but since it's in the step-down unit, there was no bed for her. Just a couple of padded chairs, which didn't look very comfortable! We're hoping they're able to bring in a recliner or something for her. I guess we'll find out in the morning how well she slept! Thankfully, it will only be for one night, as Dad will be getting out sometime tomorrow.

We did find out that Mom and Dad are meeting with the neurosurgeon and a whole team of other support staff (radiologists, oncologists, etc.) early next week. (Most likely Monday or Tuesday). Dad will get fitted for his radiation helmet at that time, with the hope that treatments will start by the end of the week (they're thinking Friday). As I type this, it still all feels a little bit surreal - almost like it's not quite happening. It was so good to see that Dad was doing so well tonight, and especially that his sense of humor is still intact! It feels good to still be able to laugh and joke around and enjoy life, even in the midst of all the turmoil.

Anyway...here are a few pics of Dad from this evening. He has to wear a wonderful pair of white compression stockings to help with the circulation in his legs. We joked that he's keeping in touch with his feminine side! And of course, I have to include a picture of the staples, which surprisingly don't look all that bad.

He hadn't had a ponytail in all day, so the hair's a little messy. :P

The wonderful white stockings!

The staples! We didn't count how many there are....

Dad's Out of Surgery

2008-09-12T13:00:00.000-05:00

Hi Everyone,

Just got a call from Mom, and Dad is out of surgery from the biopsy. He's in recovery and doing well. They're just waiting for a bed to open up and he'll be moved to the step-down unit. Thank you all so much for your prayers. We are very thankful that the procedure went well and hope to get the results so that Dad can start treatments early next week.

Thanks from all of us!
(Dana)

Biopsy's Been Moved Again

2008-09-11T14:01:00.000-05:00

Just got an email from Mom and Dad's biopsy time has been changed. It's been bumped up from 11:30 am to 7:30 am tomorrow morning (Friday, the 12th). Mom will be staying overnight with Dad in the hospital, as it's considered major surgery, and they'll be home sometime on Saturday. Please pray that everything goes well!

Thanks!
Dana

Some Encouraging Words from Friends

2008-09-08T16:53:00.000-05:00

I wanted to post this yesterday, but we didn't get home until late...and then wanted to post the update on the tests before I forgot the details! :P But either way, yesterday was a very encouraging day for us. We (Jared and I) went to church with Mom and Dad in the morning and an announcement was made to the congregation regarding Dad's tumor. It was hard to have to hear it out loud like that...and hard to endure all the hugs afterwards. But in a good way! It's so nice to know that there are so many people who love and care for all of us and are supporting us throughout this whole ordeal.

After church we went to Mom and Dad's for some family time and then we went to Kildonan Park to take some family pictures. It was a beautiful day for it, and I'm hoping to share a few of the pics here once I get a chance to go through them all....I only took over 200 pictures, so it may take a day or two! :P

Anyway...after pictures Jared and I had a meeting with our small group and filled them all in on the details of Dad's journey thus far. We all cried together and our friends prayed over us and for us. And then Andrea mentioned the words to a song that God had placed on her heart for us to hear, and it's such a beautiful and fitting song for all of us right now that I wanted to share it with everyone reading along:

You Never Let Go (by Matt Redman)

Even though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle
of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

(Chorus:) Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming
for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

(Chorus) Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

(Chorus 2x's)

Steve got out his guitar and we sang it together as a small group. It was very encouraging and very uplifting. We serve such an awesome and powerful God. He's greater than any tumor or sickness that we face. And it's very comforting to know that even if God doesn't answer our prayers to heal Dad, that He is here with us carrying us through this time. He never lets go!

Oh, the Run Around!

2008-09-08T16:33:00.000-05:00

Well, Mom called me this morning to tell me that Dad had an appointment for the MRI and the biopsy...and then her and Dad stopped by this afternoon to say that they've been bumped on the list. :( Apparently there is a little girl that needs emergency brain surgery tomorrow, so Dad's biopsy has been postponed. Of course, our thoughts and prayers go out to the little girl and her family - we hope her surgery goes well!

But now we have to wait until Friday for Dad to get his biopsy. Such is life, right?!?!?! Anyway...the MRI is still a go for tonight. It's scheduled for 9:00 pm, and the biopsy has been moved from tomorrow at 11:30 am to Friday at 11:30 am. I'm sure Mom and Dad are becoming increasingly familiar with the hallways and inner workings of the Health Science Center by now. Thankfully we only live about a block away so if they need a break, they can easily stop by our house.

Anyway...as always, we ask that you continue to pray for us and for the results of all these tests!

Dana

News from the Neurosurgeon

2008-09-06T23:39:00.001-05:00

Well, as the title says, the news on Friday from the neurosurgeon was not what we were hoping to hear. Mom and Dad had to be at the Health Sciences Cancer Care ward at 10:00 am on Friday and after a short wait, they met with the neurosurgeon. They reviewed Wednesday's CT scan, and were told that it is for sure a cancerous tumor. It's called a 'butterfly' tumor, since it is on both hemispheres of his brain. Dad also underwent an EKG and more blood work on Friday.

So it's been a rough week, to say the least. Just when we think we'll finally find out all there is to know as far as treatment and what to expect, we find out there's even more tests needed in order to get it all figured out. Dad will be back at the hospital again on Monday to see an anesthesiologist. We're not 100% sure what they'll be doing. And hopefully on Tuesday he will be receiving a full-body MRI to check for cancer elsewhere in the body, as well as have a biopsy that afternoon on the tumor in his brain. If they can't fit him in on Tuesday, then the MRI and biopsy will most likely be on Friday. It's a lot take in! Once the MRI is finished and they have the results of that, then it sounds like we will finally have a concrete plan as far as treatment goes. Until then, we're hoping for the best, and trying to take things one day at a time.

It's hard to keep functioning normally when this is hanging over our heads. I think we're all feeling emotionally drained, and trying to figure out what exactly our new 'normal' is going to be. Mom has decided to use up her sick days at work, and starting on Monday she'll be taking the next three months off in order to help take care of Dad. The rest of us are still trying to juggle work and school, while spending as much time together as we can.

As far as how Dad's feeling, he says that he doesn't really feel different at all. He doesn't quite have as much energy as he did a few weeks ago, and he's been having lots of hiccups - a side effect from the cranial pressure on his brain. Who knew that pressure on your head could cause hiccups?!?!?

Anyway....please continue to pray for our family as we await more news of treatment and the results of the MRI. Until then...

Dana

A Shocking Revelation

2008-09-04T17:12:00.000-05:00

It all started about three weeks ago when Mom and Dad got home from their trip to BC. Dad's energy level wasn't what it usually is, and his sleep habits changed. He'd stay up till all hours of the night, and then sleep away the morning. He seemed to be going through a bit of a 'funk'. Mom tried not to worry about it, but as the weeks went on, he began to get worse. He was confusing things, not remembering things clearly, or at all. It was all very strange. So on Monday, Septemeber 1st, Mom tried calling a few friends and got ahold of Aunty Wendy, who used to be a nurse. Finally, she called Health Links to confirm what Aunty Wendy had said - that Dad should be taken to the ER. He went very reluctantly, but after a bunch of tests, chest x-rays, and a CT scan, they came to our place (Dana and Jared's) where the rest of us were gathered to celebrate Jared's birthday.

After some birthday cake, they broke the news to us. Dad has a brain tumor. Our initial reactions were ones of shock. How could this be? What does this mean? Is he going to be okay? None of our questions were answered that night. The only things Mom and Dad knew were that the tumor is located at the very front of Dad's brain (apparently the best place for it to be if surgery is needed), and that there were no spots in his chest, which is sometimes where these sorts of tumors originate. Dad was given a prescription for some very strong steroids to shrink the tumor and they were to return to the hospital on Wednesday for a second CT scan, with a follow-up appointment with a neurosurgeon at the end of the week.

Well, Wednesday rolled around and Dad spent most of the afternoon at the hospital undergoing another CT scan while Mom waited around. They figured they'd be done and could come home once the test was done, but instead, were asked to please stay to talk to the doctors before going home. The news was not good. The tumor is showing 'cancer-like characteristics', which we can only assume means it is a cancerous tumor. We will know more for sure once Mom and Dad meet with the neurosugeon on Friday.

It's all a little bit scary right now. Fear of the unknown is not a good thing, so we are all anxiously awaiting Friday's meeting so we can find out more about what exactly we are facing and how it will be treated. Please keep us all in your prayers over these next few days. Pray for healing in Dad's head, and strength for the family. We know that God's timing is not our own, and we have to trust that He knows what He's doing....but boy this sure feels like rotten timing with kids going back to school, Mom heading back to work....It's been stressful to say the least.

Anyway...we want to thank you in advance for your love and support during this time. Please check back on Friday, as I'll be updating as soon as I hear any news.

On behalf of the entire Folkerts family,
Dana